Post by bigfreaky on May 19, 2007 15:01:35 GMT -5
Since N~Con Likes my posts so much.
The following story is true. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.
A few weeks ago I went a festival with my Friend Pedro and his Ex Sissy.
Pedro decides to bring his ex girlfriend along because a woman (val) was going to be at this festival who was hot for Pedro and Pedro wanted nothing to do with her. So he brings sissy along as a buffer.
First, Pedro gets to my house 20 minuets late. Then he decides my car isn't clean enough so then Pedro spends 20 minutes cleaning it. He actually used my broom and swept the car out.
Then Pedro wastes more time because my map and directions weren't good enough. Foreshadowing that if we get lost its my fault.
Then as we're driving to the festival Pedro is talking and not focusing on the road. I think the directions are starting to get confusing. Then just before we would have gone 20 miles out of our way, I stop at a farm house to ask directions. The guy I talked to was so confusing, after 10 minutes I called in Pedro for back up. Pedro had no clue what he was saying either.
Luckily the guy's wife went inside to print up directions from google. If we followed my directions we would have gone the long way. Unfortunately the short way took us into the heart of hickville.
(More on that later)
So back on the road. We're following the new directions. We are on the 200 block on the road where the gathering is. Then the street just stops. We figured out that the sign was hung wrong. So finally we arrive. After two-and-a-half hours.
We have a good time all day. Its now night-we're all sitting at a bonfire chanting and having a good time. I say to Pedro in a regular tone of voice. "Hey and you were worried about Val. She isn't even here." Pedro did not like this. He was mad at me because Val was right across from us. I said thats not Val.
Pedro had Val's name wrong. I say then what's it matter. Pedro says because I introduced Sissy to her as Val.
So Finally we decide to leave. Except that Pedro took 20 minutes getting bread he made for the pot luck. Now were leaving. After Pedro spends 15 minutes looking at the map. Now were leaving. After about 30 minutes on the road. These to trucks are tailgating Pedro. He pulls over and lets them pass. a few miles later Pedro almost hits one of the trucks because Its stopped right after a curve on the high way.
This was the sight of one of the worst wrecks I have ever seen. There was a truck On its side that hit one car bounced off of that car. Then Hit another car. The truck ends up on its side. Two redneck drunks are smashed to together inside. (Pedro says one of there eyeballs was hanging out. ) There was glass, car parts and beer cans every where. At first people just looked shaken up. We were the first ones on the scene after the crash.
I saw the carnage and that we wouldn't be able to get across the road. I didn't want to end up stuck in between all the emts and fire trucks that would soon arrive. Or have my car hit by a car that wasn't paying attention to the road. I wanted to leave. I was tired and and just wanted to go home. Pedro says we have a responsibility to help these people. I move my car.
Sissy Commender's a light on waves down other cars so they don't add to the accident. Later she consoled the daughters of a mother of two who was hurt badly.
I helped clear parts, glass and beer cans off the road. Then I tired Some reki healing on a women in the other car who's neck was hurting her. This women was also cold and she was already using my coat as a pillow so I ended up becoming the collector of sweat shirts for her as well.
Pedro gawked and found out what happened. Then Pedro took a dump in a corn Field and got caught with his pants down by a firefighter looking for bodies.
It turns out Two rednecks were drunk, sgive presents toding, and Driving like morons for miles. The truck that was chasing the rednecks had its side mirror ripped off by the rednecks. The driver was trying to get the rednecks plate number and call the cops. Then the rednecks Swerve hit a car in the other lane. The the truck bounces off that car and hit another car that was trying to get off the road to avoid the rednecks.
I'm going to wrap this up.
Finally we get back on the road. Pedro drives, I fall asleep. We get to my driveway. Pedro runs out of my car, behind my house and takes a piss. While holding my keys. After he's done He gives me my keys so I can get into my house.
After the wreck everything seemed like a dream. (Prob ally because I was so tired.) Two days later I see Pedro can I ask him if He took a dump in a corn Field and then pissed behind my house An Hour and a half later. Which he admits he did.
I know I lost steam towards the end. Still a good story right?
EDIT: I cleaned some of the grammar up a bit. I hope its easier to read now. I'm still not done.
The following story is true. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.
A few weeks ago I went a festival with my Friend Pedro and his Ex Sissy.
Pedro decides to bring his ex girlfriend along because a woman (val) was going to be at this festival who was hot for Pedro and Pedro wanted nothing to do with her. So he brings sissy along as a buffer.
First, Pedro gets to my house 20 minuets late. Then he decides my car isn't clean enough so then Pedro spends 20 minutes cleaning it. He actually used my broom and swept the car out.
Then Pedro wastes more time because my map and directions weren't good enough. Foreshadowing that if we get lost its my fault.
Then as we're driving to the festival Pedro is talking and not focusing on the road. I think the directions are starting to get confusing. Then just before we would have gone 20 miles out of our way, I stop at a farm house to ask directions. The guy I talked to was so confusing, after 10 minutes I called in Pedro for back up. Pedro had no clue what he was saying either.
Luckily the guy's wife went inside to print up directions from google. If we followed my directions we would have gone the long way. Unfortunately the short way took us into the heart of hickville.
(More on that later)
So back on the road. We're following the new directions. We are on the 200 block on the road where the gathering is. Then the street just stops. We figured out that the sign was hung wrong. So finally we arrive. After two-and-a-half hours.
We have a good time all day. Its now night-we're all sitting at a bonfire chanting and having a good time. I say to Pedro in a regular tone of voice. "Hey and you were worried about Val. She isn't even here." Pedro did not like this. He was mad at me because Val was right across from us. I said thats not Val.
Pedro had Val's name wrong. I say then what's it matter. Pedro says because I introduced Sissy to her as Val.
So Finally we decide to leave. Except that Pedro took 20 minutes getting bread he made for the pot luck. Now were leaving. After Pedro spends 15 minutes looking at the map. Now were leaving. After about 30 minutes on the road. These to trucks are tailgating Pedro. He pulls over and lets them pass. a few miles later Pedro almost hits one of the trucks because Its stopped right after a curve on the high way.
This was the sight of one of the worst wrecks I have ever seen. There was a truck On its side that hit one car bounced off of that car. Then Hit another car. The truck ends up on its side. Two redneck drunks are smashed to together inside. (Pedro says one of there eyeballs was hanging out. ) There was glass, car parts and beer cans every where. At first people just looked shaken up. We were the first ones on the scene after the crash.
I saw the carnage and that we wouldn't be able to get across the road. I didn't want to end up stuck in between all the emts and fire trucks that would soon arrive. Or have my car hit by a car that wasn't paying attention to the road. I wanted to leave. I was tired and and just wanted to go home. Pedro says we have a responsibility to help these people. I move my car.
Sissy Commender's a light on waves down other cars so they don't add to the accident. Later she consoled the daughters of a mother of two who was hurt badly.
I helped clear parts, glass and beer cans off the road. Then I tired Some reki healing on a women in the other car who's neck was hurting her. This women was also cold and she was already using my coat as a pillow so I ended up becoming the collector of sweat shirts for her as well.
Pedro gawked and found out what happened. Then Pedro took a dump in a corn Field and got caught with his pants down by a firefighter looking for bodies.
It turns out Two rednecks were drunk, sgive presents toding, and Driving like morons for miles. The truck that was chasing the rednecks had its side mirror ripped off by the rednecks. The driver was trying to get the rednecks plate number and call the cops. Then the rednecks Swerve hit a car in the other lane. The the truck bounces off that car and hit another car that was trying to get off the road to avoid the rednecks.
I'm going to wrap this up.
Finally we get back on the road. Pedro drives, I fall asleep. We get to my driveway. Pedro runs out of my car, behind my house and takes a piss. While holding my keys. After he's done He gives me my keys so I can get into my house.
After the wreck everything seemed like a dream. (Prob ally because I was so tired.) Two days later I see Pedro can I ask him if He took a dump in a corn Field and then pissed behind my house An Hour and a half later. Which he admits he did.
I know I lost steam towards the end. Still a good story right?
EDIT: I cleaned some of the grammar up a bit. I hope its easier to read now. I'm still not done.