If Anyone Has a Few Minutes...

[Alex]

I've been writing a comedy that I hope to turn into a movie... Chris Sabin already told me he'd play the part of Chris if I did. I was hoping to get some of your opinions on it. If you have the time, please check this out and leave a review on the site.

There's nine chapters so far, but they're all pretty short. Obviously if made into a movie, non-dialogue is going to take up part of the time. To change the chapters, use the drop-bar on the top right. Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this.

www.fictionpress.com/s/2231693/1/

[bigfreaky]

I read the first two chapters. I liked the joke at the end of chapter 2. There's a lot of exposition,but now that I know whats up I'm sure it won't be as bad in the future chapters. Also I'm almost finished with Nevada Barr's Firestorm. Once I finish that I think I may be more into your book more.

[moose]

I'm a bank teller and I get some of the same types of customers. Anyone who has ever worked in the hell that is retail can relate to this, just like any cubicle slave can appreciate the movie Office Space. My wife used to work at Media Play before it closed, so she'd definitely get a kick out of it. As for the people who never worked in retail, they can't possibly believe that customers do such things, but they do, oh they do.

[Alex]

Heh, I worked at Suncoast when Media Play closed, so I definitely understand the base of customers.

bigfreaky- Yes, the exposition is over.

[Alex]

It took me a month and a freaking half, but I finally wrote the last chapter!

[bigfreaky]

Hey Alex
I found this site called Urbis. Its a site for athours to post their work.
I belive the address is www.urbis.com
right now I'm on Chapter 4 of "Freedom of Minds" Written by justice. Aside from some grammar issuses ( Which I can forgive because I'm not a Great writer myself.) It pretty good so far. Its in the Sci- Fi /Fantasy section.

I thought of you while I was on that site. Maybe you could post on there.

[dennisisevil]

I really got a kick out of the lightsabre duel in the disney store. It reminds me of the stuff me and my bro used to pull as kids. We actually got kicked out of a Toys R Us when we were 16 and 17 for playing football in the aisles and riding bikes around the place. Ironically 10 years later my bro would end up working at that same Toys R Us.

[Alex]

dennisisevil said:

I really got a kick out of the lightsabre duel in the disney store. It reminds me of the stuff me and my bro used to pull as kids. We actually got kicked out of a Toys R Us when we were 16 and 17 for playing football in the aisles and riding bikes around the place. Ironically 10 years later my bro would end up working at that same Toys R Us.

While it was quite dramaticized, we actually did have one down the middle of the mall during our shift. We got away with it because it was snowing like mad and no one was there. We did, however, get kicked out of and banned from the Disney store for knocking over a stack of Winnie the Poohs.

[dennisisevil]

laiman said:

dennisisevil said:

I really got a kick out of the lightsabre duel in the disney store. It reminds me of the stuff me and my bro used to pull as kids. We actually got kicked out of a Toys R Us when we were 16 and 17 for playing football in the aisles and riding bikes around the place. Ironically 10 years later my bro would end up working at that same Toys R Us.

While it was quite dramaticized, we actually did have one down the middle of the mall during our shift. We got away with it because it was snowing like mad and no one was there. We did, however, get kicked out of and banned from the Disney store for knocking over a stack of Winnie the Poohs.

Those Disney people have no sense of humor.